Shift

“And his latest bestselling book is called Shift: Managing Your Emotions So They Don't Manage You.”

“this conversation here about evolutionary significance touches on this topic of like toxic positivity which I talk about in the book as something that I'm not a huge fan of because we often hear that the goal in life should be to maximize positivity and try to avoid negative emotional exp”

“so the invitation I'd love to give people is I can give you the tools right and that's what my book is all about here are the tools”

“and I spent a chapter talking about this in the book there are facets of our emotional lives that we cannot control and I now believe that with every iota of of being that I am”

“well but but look but like this is so like you know in the book I provide this decision tree if you will to how do you know if approaching is working or not”

“I wrote about it in the book because it was so powerful which I think captures this experience that all of us have at times we know we totally know that”

“I've said this to my kids at times um and it's probably the worst advice I've ever given because social comparisons are how we work”

“and and you know that's that's a hope of this book to to Really emphasize that for folks I think the so final element I have it's so great”

“um and it's actually the penultimate chapter of my book um and it's titled from from from knowing to doing”

“um www. Ethan cross with a k k rs.com and they can get all the information they'd like about about shift the book un lab and and lots of other stuff”

“and that's kind of the focus of of of the new book yeah I mean I think this is one of the big challenges of The Human Condition”

“and that's where the users guide that I tried to write here with shift really comes into play to give us this popery of options for getting in there sometimes it's acceptance”

“and you know I tell this story in the book about how I came across several years ago this finding that 40% of adolescence one asked Can you control your emotions didn't think they could”

“and it really begins with identifying what these tools are now a lot of people will have come in contact with some of the tools I talk about in the book some of them are familiar some of them are not”

“I tell a story in the book that was a pretty pivotal story growing up in my life and it really made a um it was part of the reason I got into psychology story of my grandparents”

“I spent a little bit time in the book just very little just you know maybe two pages right I indulge this this um interest I have in in going into the history of emotions and emotion regulation”

“and he's really it's like bringing him down and he's getting into it and his wife turns him and says why why don't you just think about it more positively just reframe it and he pauses for effect and then says yeah easier effing said than done”

“I'm also excited to tell you that Dr Ethan cross soon has another book coming out entitled shift managing your emotions so they don't manage you and I tremendously enjoyed chatter his first book and I very much look forward to reading shift when it comes out”

“so in in in my new book shift we talk about or I talk about how the different shifters that exist to push your emotions around and sensation sensory experiences are one powerful and I would argue often overlooked modality for shifting our emotions”

“different tools work for different people and different situations there are you know upwards of two dozen or more science-based tools that that I that I covered when I wrote chatter when I got into shift the broader train of regulating your emotions”

“so actually i talk about these intrusive thoughts in in shift um they are incredibly normative”