Podcast: No Stupid Questions
Episode: 199. What Makes a Good Gathering? | No Stupid Questions
Here’s a list of all the books mentioned in this episode, complete with an Amazon buy link and quotes from the episode.
The Art of Gathering
Buy on Amazon"I was recently reading an amazing book called The Art of Gathering by Priya Parker."
The Art of Gathering
Buy on Amazon"This was so different; he pulls out a wrinkled old copy of Priya Parker's book The Art of Gathering and he said, "I've given more copies of this book away than any other book, and here's my copy."
The Art of Gathering
Buy on Amazon"When I was reading Parker's book, I thought, "Wow, we maybe inadvertently followed a lot of the principles that allowed us to sustain this.""
The Art of Gathering
Buy on Amazon"Now that goes to one of the principles that Priya Parker talks about, which I think is pretty uncomfortable for a lot of people, and that's this idea of exclusivity."
Tribe
Buy on Amazon"The first book we read was Tribe by Sebastian Junger, and I actually thought it was an incredible first book because it basically talks about so many of these principles of why we are a tribe and how people gather and become sort of a group, but very different than the Priya Parker thing."
Beartown
Buy on Amazon"It's called Beartown by Fredrik Backman, who is maybe my favorite fiction author."
A Man Called Ove
Buy on Amazon"I don't even care about finishing the rest of the principles for Priya Parker; now all I want to talk about is— like, I kind of feel like if I were going to start a book club, I think the first book we would read is A Man Called Ove!"
A Man Called Ove
Buy on Amazon"I've read A Man Called Ove—I always say A Man Called Ove because that is the Swedish pronunciation."
Grit
Buy on Amazon"I will say in the seven years of all these books, no book has come up more frequently in subsequent discussions, whether we're reading science fiction or poetry or about race relations or really boring non-fiction books about passion and perseverance, or an amazing book called Grit, somehow—not that it comes up every time; I'm not overstating it—but it comes up more frequently than any other book."
The Art of Gathering
Buy on Amazon"But one of the most uncomfortable situations that Priya Parker brings up in her book is there's a group of friends that used to get together like once a year for a weekend, and one year one member of the group, who was in the military, only had the same weekend that he could get together with his girlfriend."
The Art of Gathering
Buy on Amazon"Now, back to Mike and Angela's conversation about gatherings on this topic of rules that we're talking about right now: Priya Parker gave a TED Talk in 2019, and one of the things she talked about were popup rules."
The Art of Gathering
Buy on Amazon"And to your point, Parker talks in the book about this interesting concept that some people in a group dinner may want to leave earlier and some may want to stay later, and so long as the host is okay with either one of those things, one of the things she recommends is at some point— let's say after an hour, you've eaten the dinner—then it's okay; now we're going to leave the kitchen and move into the living room."
The Art of Gathering
Buy on Amazon"Okay, I don't know who said this for all— I know Priya Parker said this—but I remember it really well, and I am not the first to say it: it was advice on dinner parties, and it was like no more than six, no fewer than five!"
The Art of Gathering
Buy on Amazon"I actually agree with all of this; obviously, I'm passionate about Parker's book; I think it's really valuable, and I've loved everything!"
The Art of Gathering
Buy on Amazon"Okay, I have not yet read The Art of Gathering, but if I take the art in the title seriously, maybe your friend, and maybe Priya Parker herself, the oracle, maybe they are like the Leonardo da Vinci, so they have taken this art of gathering to its highest apogee!"
The Art of Gathering
Buy on Amazon"So you know, if The Art of Gathering really is an art, some of us are going to be really far down the path, and they're amazing!"